Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
When did angry sex become our thing?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
