Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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