what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
