So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
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