There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize