I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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