can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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