Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Randomize
