Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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