You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
