I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
What drink are we having for lunch?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Randomize
