It was confusing and full of hummus
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
That accounts for only three of the penises
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
