Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize