PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
