I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize