just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
