he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
