she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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