I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
