Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
