Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
