Did you just see the Batmobile???
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
