i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
