i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
