I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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