She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
