i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
