I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
