So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
if only i could text you this smell
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
