You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
