why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
