Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
he thought i was a dude.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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