i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize