stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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