I'm really into asian looking animals
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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