Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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