Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Randomize
