I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
