sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
