You really coming over, don't trick.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
