Your tits are I can't wait for
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
