You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
