anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize