You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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