My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
