I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
