The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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