I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
