i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
