Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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