best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
