this boner is exhausting
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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