Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
