Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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