Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
