when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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