I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
