Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You're a waste of cheezeits
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
