He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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