I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
