But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
false alarm, still single
Randomize