His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Randomize
