what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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