I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
