you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize