Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize