I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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