dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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