Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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