weddingsv make me drug and hornr
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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