My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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