So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
worst night to have a conscience
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
