Three words: puerto rican gang bang
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
two words: eviction party
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
