i think my tv is drunk
Don't make out with my wife yet
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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